Horses play many roles: worker, athlete, companion, and friend among them. Can a horse write a book? Pepper answers that with an emphatic "Yes." Pepper's owner Joni probably represents a lot of horse owners. Joni says she'll sometimes "look at my horses and swear I can read their minds; what they are thinking is written all over their faces."
While many horse owners might feel the same way about their own herds, Joni's taken it a step further, publishing Straight From My Horse's Mouth: Life According to Charlie & Pepper (2024). This book is filled with observational humor from both sides of the paddock fence. Not only do you get hilarious insights on "Things no one told me before I got a horse," but also what horses think about the characters who populate their daily lives.
We met Pepper, a 14-year-old, 14.2hh Morgan-Quarter Horse cross recently on Facebook. Joni posted this photo of Pepper in her old, trusted GreenGuard Grazing Muzzle. Pepper's quizzical, impatient look prompted Joni to translate: "I promise I won't take off my grazing muzzle. Why are you watching me? Just leave already! I'd like some privacy." Sure, Pepper! Whatever you say!
Joni mentioned that Pepper had upgraded recently to a fashionable all-pink set up: a raspberry pink GreenGuard Grazing Muzzle, one of the now-discontinued pink GG Breakaway Safety Halters, and even pink fleece for her noseband and cheekpiece. We don't sell fashion-forward fleece - it's mostly basic black for most of our muzzle accessories these days - so we were eager to see a newer photo. Joni and Pepper were only too happy to oblige, and yes, the sheer amount of pink is bright enough that you could probably see Pepper from the next county.
Still, now that she's a published author, Pepper is trying hard to remain humble. Maybe not that hard. The GreenGuard muzzle may restrict Pepper's grazing by 30-80%, but it cannot limit or contain her personality at all. On publication day for her new book, Joni passed along that "Pepper wants everyone to know that she is the literary genius behind the book, despite sharing the credit with her brother," Charlie.
Being in the grazing muzzle business, you might not think there's a lot of laughter involved, but every occupation has its own sense of humor and its own jokes. Granted, they mostly qualify as what we'd probably call "dad jokes," but believe me, we have heard them all. How many times a week do we hear someone compare a precious muzzled mini horse to horror icon Hannibal Lecter from "The Silence of the Lambs"? It is a non-zero number, let us tell you.
Jokes and jibes like this are part of the territory when your major product is a cage-like mask. We also get plenty of Batman / Bane references from the finale of Christopher Nolan's Batman trilogy, "The Dark Knight Returns." Darth Vader or Kylo Ren from the "Star Wars" franchise? Check and check.
Maybe the most common grazing muzzle joke - and we guarantee, it appears like clockwork any time someone learns what a grazing muzzle is - has to do with our own all-too-human diet culture. The very moment a post delcares that a grazing muzzle prevents a horse from eating all they want, someone always chimes in, "Oh! I wish they made those for people!" or "Can you get one for me?"
We're happy to let you know that Pepper, her brother Charlie, and their owner and translator Joni are all way funnier and more charming than any of the grazing muzzle jests we hear during the season. There are lots of great horse books out there, from children's coloring books to historical romances. Not enough, though, and there's always room for the kind of fun, relatable, observational humor that you'll find in Straight From My Horse’s Mouth.
If a horse like Pepper is compelled to wear a grazing muzzle, the purpose is rarely fun and games, so let’s get real for a moment. Pepper may be Joni's "Barbie doll horse," but it took a lot of persistence, trial, and error before there could be anything like "fun" in Pepper's functional grazing muzzle routine. Joni and Pepper's muzzle journey will sound familiar to many of you.
When Joni adopted Pepper 3 years ago, Pepper was around 11 years old, and there were hints of potential issues. Pepper already "had the beginnings of a cresty neck and fat pads behind the shoulders." She'd "been kept stabled and fed only hay and sweet feed for at least four months." Naturally, Joni was "concerned about the possibility of PPID ('Cushings') or Insulin Resistance, but something about this mare spoke to me, so I bought her anyways. Sure enough," Joni says, "when I had blood work done, it was confirmed Pepper had PPID."
Muzzles are often a first course of action in circumstances like Pepper's. Joni was a little ahead of the curve, since she "had already started trying muzzles with Pepper while she acclimated to grass and to help her lose weight. The PPID diagnosis made a muzzle an absolute requirement to help keep her sugar levels down." Earlier, we said that we hear many of the same grazing muzzle jokes every season. Another thing we hear about every season is the merry-go-round, the carousel, or the parade of grazing muzzles that horse owners go through trying to find something that will work and help their horses.
Joni says, "Any other muzzle I tried frustrated her so much that she would stand at the gate waiting to come in without even trying to eat." Pepper would wait for turnout to end "so she could gorge on hay because she was so hungry. Needless to say, neither of us were happy. Pepper was frustrated, and I felt horrible that my horse was going 11 hours without forage, because she wouldn't even try to graze through the muzzles." That's when GG Equine entered the picture.
Seeking a new way forward, one of Joni's friends "gave me an old GreenGuard muzzle she didn't need anymore. Game changer!" Joni says that Pepper "figured out the GreenGuard muzzle in minutes." The difference in Pepper's attitude and behavior was immediate. There was "no more standing at the gate all day and then attacking her hay when she got in her stall. She was happy, I was happy!" Over time, they traded out their old halter for a GG Breakaway Safety Halter "to go with her muzzle, as vigorous rolling sometimes popped her halter off."
Any horse owner who has gone through any part of that knows the anxiety and stress involved for everyone. Using a grazing muzzle for weight management or transitioning a horse from one quality of pasture grass to another is one thing. Trying to muzzle a horse because of a medical diagnosis adds that much more pressure for things to go right. The process of finding a grazing muzzle your horse will tolerate, accept, and become comfortable with is no joke.
You don't even have to buy one from GG Equine. I can't tell you how many stories like Joni's we've heard over the years of a second-hand GreenGuard muzzle - passed down from friends or acquired on the secondary market - making a life-changing difference to a beloved horse. At GG Equine, we are always grateful to hear stories like Joni and Pepper's. When we can serve the needs of horse and owner, no matter how they find us, that's our job done.
Joni is like so many of the horse owners we encounter in our work. She takes her "horses' health pretty seriously" and feels like it's "my mission in life to prevent Pepper from ever getting laminitis or developing Insulin Resistance." Joni says that "Pepper is a smart, opinionated mare who will test the boundaries. She isn't always easy, but she and I have been through a lot in our three years together, and she will always have a home with me. She means so much to me, and I'm really glad I found the GreenGuard muzzle to help keep my friend healthy!"
Thanks to Joni for sharing her story with us! You can pick up her book at the link below. Did we mention? Joni’s donating 100% of the proceeds to her favorite equine charities, Days End Farm Horse Rescue in Maryland and Turning for Home in Pennsylvania. You’ll find links to those organizations below as well!
----
Links:
- Find Pepper's book, Straight From My Horse's Mouth, on Amazon
- Follow Pepper's adventures on social media
- Learn more about Days End Farm Rescue
- Learn more about Turning for Home
